my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize