You really coming over, don't trick.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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