Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
send nudes
from the living room?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
