no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
There's always time for handjobs
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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