you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
