I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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