You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
