he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
