im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
