My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
