Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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