if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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