You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
