My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
