Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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