I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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