one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just invented taco cereal.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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