everyone is single if you try hard enough
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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