I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
