dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
