please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
