Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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