your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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