they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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