Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
