No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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