I feel great
I just peed on a car
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
