I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
