eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
