last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
