can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
