Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
