I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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