Whatcha textin bout Willis?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My vagina is officially offended.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
