The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
