I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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