You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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