do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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