Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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