btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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