I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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