those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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