I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
