But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
