I need help removing her.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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