come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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