I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
