Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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