Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
there is glitter all over my balls
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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