New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Can you bring me the toilet please
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
we're so committed to being not committed
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