No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize