Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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