Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
