Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You made out with two different species that night
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
