You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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