I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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