Me too!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
