Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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