Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We are two peas in an std pod
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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