matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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