Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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