im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
