there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He did a backflip because drugs
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