its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
