wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
This house was built for laser tag.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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