i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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