what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
