Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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