she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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