Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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