Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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