friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
