Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize