sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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