Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
