You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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