so explain again why im purple
no
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
