dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
